Tribute to Jess Itzler
Tribute to Jessie Itzler
Thank you Jesse for reminding me that only if I memorialize moments of life lived will I value my experience and not wonder what happened to time passing . So this will begin as a diary and serve as a memory bank. From time to time I will indulge my whims to comment about the world; about life. I fear most of my comments may be labeled cynical or negative but such is my genetic make-up and my respects at the outset to those who can make lemonade out of lemons.
I shall begin my narration with this week in Stockholm
Sunday 6/24/2018
We slept at Chris and Mia's apartment Saturday night, then took care of Freddie for most of the next day. Freddie is 7 1/2 months old and our first and only grandchild. Freddie is incontrovertably beautiful and expressive. As Chris says she is a compulsive flirt and her laughter and smiles force those around her to do the same. At the same time she often stares intently at us when we talk to her as she tries to interpret our meaning. She is learning Swedish and English simultaneously and will never know that the two languages do not intermingle often. In the afternoon we walked for 4 hours through Karlbergsparken, a beautiful and variegated park full of runners, up hills and down hills pushing the pram with the baby in it. She tolerated us for most of the trip. Lying in a pram for 4 hours on your back cannot be fun and as her grandparents preened and talked to her. At some point this got to be a total bore. In the evening we entertained Chris, Mia, Freddie (Fredrika), Mia's mother Ulrika and her new companion, and of course Kerstin (pronounce Shushtin phonetically in Swedish) and me. Dinner was great, featuring Cod (Torskrygg in Swedish); the service less so. The restaurant is in the beautiful-people district of Stureplan and the evening ended so pleasantly with a ubiquitous bus ride to our hotel (Ibis).
Monday, 6/25/2018
We took a ferry into the archipelago outside of Stockholm. Nina, Kerstin's friend met us at the dock at Lusterö, an island in the archipelago. It took about 1.5 hours to travel from Stockholm, including stops at other islands along the way. We had some lunch and then toured her part of the island. Stockholm and the archipelago are a series of islands I believe carved out of the ocean floor during the ice age by the migrating ice sheets. Anywhere in the Archipelago one is surrounded by water and on this day the water was as smooth as ice with a blue-black color that shimmered in the sun's reflection. The surface mesmerized as I had trouble taking my gaze elsewhere, especially on the return ferry back to Stockholm. It took two hours to ferry back to the harbor and as we had not eaten dinner we walked back to the beautiful people in Sturiplan to eat as the night before at Sturhof restaurant. Once again the food (cod) was superb and the service was less than adequate. I vented my displeasure by not leaving a tip. We have been turning into night owls as we do not seem to get to bed before one AM.
Tuesday 6/26/2018
We picked up Freddie at noon and walked to Kungsgatan where Chris works at Acast. We toured the office and showed Freddie to his co-workers. Then we went to Östermalmshallen which is a giant space filled with food vendors from various parts of the world, though Swedish dishes predominate and especially the fish (which is the best in the world) are sold. There we bought shrimp for the evening's dinner. From there we took bus number 2 to Odenplan, another beautiful district in the part of Sweden called Vasastan. After doing some walking (and Kerstin some clothes shopping with me walking the baby back and forth outside) we made our way to Rörstrandsgatan (streets may end with the suffix gatan) where we came upon a cafe called Rött which was very understated but had sofa type chairs with coffee tables and longer tables with conventional chairs outside. When the weather is warm or the sun is shining (regardless of temperature) Swedes eat outdoors. I had a wonderful antipasta on a wooden plank and Kerstin had a glass of wine. From there we walked back toward Chris and Mia's where we passed a hotdog stand which is famous all over Stockholm. It is called Korvar Gunter. Gunter was the original owner and he was known locally as the korvar nazi. (yes, the Swedes watch Seinfeld). For instance if you asked for mustard on your korvar he would not sell you the hotdog. He wore a wig, I don't know why, and he tugged on it as he served. Gunter died and two owners later the current proprietor took over and is just as crazy though perhaps not the Nazi. I had him choose my hotdog from about 50+ types of meat. I think mine was kalbassa with several types of herbs and sauces applied into a giant bun of fresh bread with a tubular hole in it where the sausage is placed. Then off to Mia's where we ate out multi´species seafood dinner: shrimp, havskräftor, salmon, gravad lox, varmrökt lox. Back to the hotel for needed rest.
Wednesday 6/27/2018
Today we visited art exhibits. First a train ride and a long walk. we arrived at Djrgårdan which is translated as the garden of animals.Apparently the island was used for gaming and jumping horses and perhaps even now there is horseback riding and competition. On the island is Waldemacsudde where is situated a castle built by the brother of the old king. The brother's name was prins Eugen and he was known for his appreciation of art and his arguable open gay life-style. Today exhibits are shown there and we viewed the current visiting exhibit by Siegrid Hjerten, a Swedish artist of renown who was known as the greatest colorist of her time which was early to middle twentieth century. Her life was a great tragedy which ended with a tragic and fatal lobotomy after years of incapacitation which was diagnosed as schizophrenia. Her paintings are a remarkable combination of juxtatposition of colors with stylistic intonations from Matisse and perhaps Picasso. The power of her work is her passion which produced a non-verbal experience in me, the viewer. She would likely have been more famous had she not been relegated to a somewhat supporting role by her artist husband, Issac Grunewald.
From there we took a short bus ride (we had the all day 4 day pass for unlimited rides on public transportation) to Liljevalch's museum where we saw an exhibit of Lars Lerin who is a renowned water colorist. This is a man who was an alcoholic with a desolate life until he met his partner who was a Brazilian dancer. Lerrin is alive and calls him Junior. His public interviews are full of life and laughter and personality. His paintings are brilliant, somber, sad, somewhat hopeless (like the violin concerto I am listening to right now). In his visceral life he has adopted children, provided refuge for mentally and physically handicapped less fortunate than himself. In his virtual life his art reveals the devastation that man as the only predator that devours its own without satisfying a primal need such as hunger.
Then we made our way to Strandbryggan, a restaurant where I had wine and a shrimp sandwich (very famous and delicious in Sweden as the shrimps here are superior to any in the rest of the world. We walked along the water til we arrived at Kungsträdgården. In the park was a folk festival on a park stage. The music was fun but too repetitive and we began to search for the Jewish synagogue near-bye. The streets here are a bit confusing so it took some 20 minutes to find the entrance a few hundred meters away. The synagogue was closed and appears well fortified. Even in Sweden there are racial conflicts with Sweden having taken in up to 10% of its population as refuges primarily of Muslim faith. The problem appears that there is little will to integrating the two cultures and there is obvious antagonism from a minority of the immigrants. (Yesterday a probable Syrian refugee male about 20 years old got on a bus with a tee shirt depicting a warrior with a machine gun and a hat that spelled hatred. He smirked the entire ride and fairly overtly tried to antagonize the other riders.
In the evening we walked to Kerstin's favorite restaurant which is called Tranan and is on Karlbergsvagen, a main street running through Odenplan. Inside the noise made for a din that would have disturbed my pleasure with the meal.Luckily there was a table outside. It must be noted that if the sun is out the temperature is meaningless as all Swedes will eat outside. Also, the sun barely sets in July so daylight in Stockholm is at least 18 hours per day, maybe longer. It does interfere with sleep though never with eating.
Thursday-Friday-Saturday 6/28/2018
I am combining these days as I had a routine. In the late morning I would walk to the Radisson Waterfront Hotel for the world congress on Psoriasis. I would stay there for 4-5 hours and then walk back to Chris and Mia's because they left for a short holiday and we baby-sat Freddie. The Congress was excellent thought I felt it started slowly and then continually became more interesting. There were very few Americans except for speakers and the intellectual level of discussion was excellent.My impression of American medical meetings is that they are commercial and designed to benefit the income of the physicians and the medical industry. The only exception I have attended is the multispecialty (Derm, GI, and rheumatology meeting in New York every year tho this year was in Boston) immune thereapy . Besides the quality of the speakers the coffee and expresso were so exceptional that I had 1-2 each 4 hour period.
On Wednesday we began out baby-sitting with long walks with Freddie and as the Swedes have a penchant for either running or walking I felt I needed to walk to and from the meeting each day to improve my mettle. So 30 minute walk in each direction plus a 3-4 hour walk with Freddie with time out to let her sit on a swing or play on a blanket in the grass. Apparently that is a lot more exercise than I am used to because I was really tired each night.
Being with Freddie is like walking through a magic mirror where you can feel and touch life as you knew it when you were young but could not appreciate what you were experiencing. Freddie has the best disposition I have ever seen in a baby. When we sang to her she tried in her own way to sing. When we moved to the music she tried to imitate us by raising her arms to the side. She claps, she talks, she clucks, she can be very serious and then very playful. I feel I learned so much from her and had such a good time doing it. What was it George Bernard Shaw said: It's a shame youth is wasted in the young. Not true! It is a shame not to appreciate the wonder of youth and I am grateful for the blessing of getting a second chance to share. After this 11 day sojourn we left to return to our home in Skanör . Am I the luckiest man in the world. I met the most wonderful woman who became my life-long companion 14 years ago and she shared with me a beautiful new culture,a loving family, and now a grandchild to love and to share. These moments must not be forgotten!
July 5 2018
And then the trip back to Skanör. The train ride was peaceful and we both felt a sigh of relief at returning home to some peace and quiet. Of course in the back of our minds we knew we had to unpack the boxes from Chicago and we said we would not rush into it but we arose the next morning and immediately after breakfast began the task of unpacking. Some items had to be repacked for an eventual apartment in Stockholm and some things would remain in Skanör. The first thing we noted as we had before the trip to Stockholm was that the Chicago furniture was too big. But oh so comfortable. We will have to manage the furniture problem later. Kerstin immediately noted, as she had upon delivery the day before leaving for Stockholm, that my favorite picture was missing. We also could not find the Fornasetti pillow. Removing items from boxes is arduous and it took 2 full days to unpack. Kerstin was very tired and today she even said she looks forward to returning to Florida to relax and recharge. Lasse and Carin had us and Cecilia over for dinner 2 nights ago and they have become our adult family. Cecilia is grieving over the loss of Peo a few days ago and we tried to support her as well as to guide her through what will be a nasty proceeding with the will as the children will try to take her share of the inheritance. Too many people have evil intent and it is too self-defeating to focus on them rather than feeling the moment from within. Last night we stayed in to try and recover our strength and Kerstin even slept to 8:30.
Of course I must note today is my birthday. I am conflicted 74 seems too old. Mostly I resent and fear the accumulation of physical infirmity; diabetes, Crohn's, arthritis especially in my thumbs and right knee, and the ever looming presence of developing cancer. Peo brought tht home vividly and even though I have been through it, it still creates fear in me. Leaving Dr Costas is also like giving up a safety net and that does not feel good. It is time to be the adult and assume responsibility for getting a doctor in Sarasota . I also obsess about terms of retirement in another year as I will be responsible for allocating our resources in the absence of an income stream for the rest of our lives. All in I am not feeling happy and I will have to concentrate on meditation, the moment, and the joys I have. My resolution is to spend the next 3 weeks in the gym in Sarasota and to try to spend some time with golf.
Thank you Jesse for reminding me that only if I memorialize moments of life lived will I value my experience and not wonder what happened to time passing . So this will begin as a diary and serve as a memory bank. From time to time I will indulge my whims to comment about the world; about life. I fear most of my comments may be labeled cynical or negative but such is my genetic make-up and my respects at the outset to those who can make lemonade out of lemons.
I shall begin my narration with this week in Stockholm
Sunday 6/24/2018
We slept at Chris and Mia's apartment Saturday night, then took care of Freddie for most of the next day. Freddie is 7 1/2 months old and our first and only grandchild. Freddie is incontrovertably beautiful and expressive. As Chris says she is a compulsive flirt and her laughter and smiles force those around her to do the same. At the same time she often stares intently at us when we talk to her as she tries to interpret our meaning. She is learning Swedish and English simultaneously and will never know that the two languages do not intermingle often. In the afternoon we walked for 4 hours through Karlbergsparken, a beautiful and variegated park full of runners, up hills and down hills pushing the pram with the baby in it. She tolerated us for most of the trip. Lying in a pram for 4 hours on your back cannot be fun and as her grandparents preened and talked to her. At some point this got to be a total bore. In the evening we entertained Chris, Mia, Freddie (Fredrika), Mia's mother Ulrika and her new companion, and of course Kerstin (pronounce Shushtin phonetically in Swedish) and me. Dinner was great, featuring Cod (Torskrygg in Swedish); the service less so. The restaurant is in the beautiful-people district of Stureplan and the evening ended so pleasantly with a ubiquitous bus ride to our hotel (Ibis).
Monday, 6/25/2018
We took a ferry into the archipelago outside of Stockholm. Nina, Kerstin's friend met us at the dock at Lusterö, an island in the archipelago. It took about 1.5 hours to travel from Stockholm, including stops at other islands along the way. We had some lunch and then toured her part of the island. Stockholm and the archipelago are a series of islands I believe carved out of the ocean floor during the ice age by the migrating ice sheets. Anywhere in the Archipelago one is surrounded by water and on this day the water was as smooth as ice with a blue-black color that shimmered in the sun's reflection. The surface mesmerized as I had trouble taking my gaze elsewhere, especially on the return ferry back to Stockholm. It took two hours to ferry back to the harbor and as we had not eaten dinner we walked back to the beautiful people in Sturiplan to eat as the night before at Sturhof restaurant. Once again the food (cod) was superb and the service was less than adequate. I vented my displeasure by not leaving a tip. We have been turning into night owls as we do not seem to get to bed before one AM.
Tuesday 6/26/2018
We picked up Freddie at noon and walked to Kungsgatan where Chris works at Acast. We toured the office and showed Freddie to his co-workers. Then we went to Östermalmshallen which is a giant space filled with food vendors from various parts of the world, though Swedish dishes predominate and especially the fish (which is the best in the world) are sold. There we bought shrimp for the evening's dinner. From there we took bus number 2 to Odenplan, another beautiful district in the part of Sweden called Vasastan. After doing some walking (and Kerstin some clothes shopping with me walking the baby back and forth outside) we made our way to Rörstrandsgatan (streets may end with the suffix gatan) where we came upon a cafe called Rött which was very understated but had sofa type chairs with coffee tables and longer tables with conventional chairs outside. When the weather is warm or the sun is shining (regardless of temperature) Swedes eat outdoors. I had a wonderful antipasta on a wooden plank and Kerstin had a glass of wine. From there we walked back toward Chris and Mia's where we passed a hotdog stand which is famous all over Stockholm. It is called Korvar Gunter. Gunter was the original owner and he was known locally as the korvar nazi. (yes, the Swedes watch Seinfeld). For instance if you asked for mustard on your korvar he would not sell you the hotdog. He wore a wig, I don't know why, and he tugged on it as he served. Gunter died and two owners later the current proprietor took over and is just as crazy though perhaps not the Nazi. I had him choose my hotdog from about 50+ types of meat. I think mine was kalbassa with several types of herbs and sauces applied into a giant bun of fresh bread with a tubular hole in it where the sausage is placed. Then off to Mia's where we ate out multi´species seafood dinner: shrimp, havskräftor, salmon, gravad lox, varmrökt lox. Back to the hotel for needed rest.
Wednesday 6/27/2018
Today we visited art exhibits. First a train ride and a long walk. we arrived at Djrgårdan which is translated as the garden of animals.Apparently the island was used for gaming and jumping horses and perhaps even now there is horseback riding and competition. On the island is Waldemacsudde where is situated a castle built by the brother of the old king. The brother's name was prins Eugen and he was known for his appreciation of art and his arguable open gay life-style. Today exhibits are shown there and we viewed the current visiting exhibit by Siegrid Hjerten, a Swedish artist of renown who was known as the greatest colorist of her time which was early to middle twentieth century. Her life was a great tragedy which ended with a tragic and fatal lobotomy after years of incapacitation which was diagnosed as schizophrenia. Her paintings are a remarkable combination of juxtatposition of colors with stylistic intonations from Matisse and perhaps Picasso. The power of her work is her passion which produced a non-verbal experience in me, the viewer. She would likely have been more famous had she not been relegated to a somewhat supporting role by her artist husband, Issac Grunewald.
From there we took a short bus ride (we had the all day 4 day pass for unlimited rides on public transportation) to Liljevalch's museum where we saw an exhibit of Lars Lerin who is a renowned water colorist. This is a man who was an alcoholic with a desolate life until he met his partner who was a Brazilian dancer. Lerrin is alive and calls him Junior. His public interviews are full of life and laughter and personality. His paintings are brilliant, somber, sad, somewhat hopeless (like the violin concerto I am listening to right now). In his visceral life he has adopted children, provided refuge for mentally and physically handicapped less fortunate than himself. In his virtual life his art reveals the devastation that man as the only predator that devours its own without satisfying a primal need such as hunger.
Then we made our way to Strandbryggan, a restaurant where I had wine and a shrimp sandwich (very famous and delicious in Sweden as the shrimps here are superior to any in the rest of the world. We walked along the water til we arrived at Kungsträdgården. In the park was a folk festival on a park stage. The music was fun but too repetitive and we began to search for the Jewish synagogue near-bye. The streets here are a bit confusing so it took some 20 minutes to find the entrance a few hundred meters away. The synagogue was closed and appears well fortified. Even in Sweden there are racial conflicts with Sweden having taken in up to 10% of its population as refuges primarily of Muslim faith. The problem appears that there is little will to integrating the two cultures and there is obvious antagonism from a minority of the immigrants. (Yesterday a probable Syrian refugee male about 20 years old got on a bus with a tee shirt depicting a warrior with a machine gun and a hat that spelled hatred. He smirked the entire ride and fairly overtly tried to antagonize the other riders.
In the evening we walked to Kerstin's favorite restaurant which is called Tranan and is on Karlbergsvagen, a main street running through Odenplan. Inside the noise made for a din that would have disturbed my pleasure with the meal.Luckily there was a table outside. It must be noted that if the sun is out the temperature is meaningless as all Swedes will eat outside. Also, the sun barely sets in July so daylight in Stockholm is at least 18 hours per day, maybe longer. It does interfere with sleep though never with eating.
Thursday-Friday-Saturday 6/28/2018
I am combining these days as I had a routine. In the late morning I would walk to the Radisson Waterfront Hotel for the world congress on Psoriasis. I would stay there for 4-5 hours and then walk back to Chris and Mia's because they left for a short holiday and we baby-sat Freddie. The Congress was excellent thought I felt it started slowly and then continually became more interesting. There were very few Americans except for speakers and the intellectual level of discussion was excellent.My impression of American medical meetings is that they are commercial and designed to benefit the income of the physicians and the medical industry. The only exception I have attended is the multispecialty (Derm, GI, and rheumatology meeting in New York every year tho this year was in Boston) immune thereapy . Besides the quality of the speakers the coffee and expresso were so exceptional that I had 1-2 each 4 hour period.
On Wednesday we began out baby-sitting with long walks with Freddie and as the Swedes have a penchant for either running or walking I felt I needed to walk to and from the meeting each day to improve my mettle. So 30 minute walk in each direction plus a 3-4 hour walk with Freddie with time out to let her sit on a swing or play on a blanket in the grass. Apparently that is a lot more exercise than I am used to because I was really tired each night.
Being with Freddie is like walking through a magic mirror where you can feel and touch life as you knew it when you were young but could not appreciate what you were experiencing. Freddie has the best disposition I have ever seen in a baby. When we sang to her she tried in her own way to sing. When we moved to the music she tried to imitate us by raising her arms to the side. She claps, she talks, she clucks, she can be very serious and then very playful. I feel I learned so much from her and had such a good time doing it. What was it George Bernard Shaw said: It's a shame youth is wasted in the young. Not true! It is a shame not to appreciate the wonder of youth and I am grateful for the blessing of getting a second chance to share. After this 11 day sojourn we left to return to our home in Skanör . Am I the luckiest man in the world. I met the most wonderful woman who became my life-long companion 14 years ago and she shared with me a beautiful new culture,a loving family, and now a grandchild to love and to share. These moments must not be forgotten!
July 5 2018
And then the trip back to Skanör. The train ride was peaceful and we both felt a sigh of relief at returning home to some peace and quiet. Of course in the back of our minds we knew we had to unpack the boxes from Chicago and we said we would not rush into it but we arose the next morning and immediately after breakfast began the task of unpacking. Some items had to be repacked for an eventual apartment in Stockholm and some things would remain in Skanör. The first thing we noted as we had before the trip to Stockholm was that the Chicago furniture was too big. But oh so comfortable. We will have to manage the furniture problem later. Kerstin immediately noted, as she had upon delivery the day before leaving for Stockholm, that my favorite picture was missing. We also could not find the Fornasetti pillow. Removing items from boxes is arduous and it took 2 full days to unpack. Kerstin was very tired and today she even said she looks forward to returning to Florida to relax and recharge. Lasse and Carin had us and Cecilia over for dinner 2 nights ago and they have become our adult family. Cecilia is grieving over the loss of Peo a few days ago and we tried to support her as well as to guide her through what will be a nasty proceeding with the will as the children will try to take her share of the inheritance. Too many people have evil intent and it is too self-defeating to focus on them rather than feeling the moment from within. Last night we stayed in to try and recover our strength and Kerstin even slept to 8:30.
Of course I must note today is my birthday. I am conflicted 74 seems too old. Mostly I resent and fear the accumulation of physical infirmity; diabetes, Crohn's, arthritis especially in my thumbs and right knee, and the ever looming presence of developing cancer. Peo brought tht home vividly and even though I have been through it, it still creates fear in me. Leaving Dr Costas is also like giving up a safety net and that does not feel good. It is time to be the adult and assume responsibility for getting a doctor in Sarasota . I also obsess about terms of retirement in another year as I will be responsible for allocating our resources in the absence of an income stream for the rest of our lives. All in I am not feeling happy and I will have to concentrate on meditation, the moment, and the joys I have. My resolution is to spend the next 3 weeks in the gym in Sarasota and to try to spend some time with golf.
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