Returning to the scene of the Crime
Although my intention was to write daily it has been 10 days and I am finally at peace t write. Hell, I want to meditate daily and I don't do that unless I am fried or mellow, and the point of meditation is to go between the 2; not return there when it is convenient. The last 10 days have been about jet-lag and returning to work. On alternate days til yesterday I have felt like my brain was in a fog and if one can be numb to pain I have also been numb to thought and feeling. Work was actually refreshing and patient care is still a positive experience for me. My continual task is to listen as I am wont to talk too much.
Today's date is 7/20/18 and I find it difficult to blog daily and even at that at very tight times to write. The purpose of this blog is to focus in the present and to be aware of time as it passes rather than complain that it flies by. Yet that is what it has been doing so I am not accomplishing my purpose. The past week I worked 3 days and I have been very tired. I am unhappy that I have not been given a full retinue of assistants at work and I am spending an additional hours per day with the new EMR and am always being patient schedule because we don't have enough personnel. I stay awake at night with Kerstin watching TV and I mostly find it mind-numbing. While I think about retirement I am also displeased that my other priorities such as reading, meditation, finance, gym, golf, learning Swedish are sacrificed to time constraints and I would like to write a book of my vignettes. I also need time to interact with people and time to rejuvenate. I am doing something wrong and I don't know if it is age or lack of efficiency. I am aware of my aloneness and have discomfort at not having enough time alone to do what I would like.
(It appears I have lost the first 2 paragraphs from the past week describing days between returning to Florida and orienting to work and Sarasota life. How apropos of my feeling of discombobulation that I should concretely lose the narrative of part of my life which was designed to be aware in the present!)
Today sis 7/31 and I am woefully inept at blogging. Staying in the moment is difficult and memorializing those moments even harder. The past week saw us return to Skanor frfom Sarasota.
The kids were here and we got to baby sit Freddie who shangres daily (ore on that lat).The house was crowded and it is very hot so it has been a bit difficult. We have not been to the beach which seems a shame. We are without car so we must use bikes and feet. I think I am over jet lag today so I must get some discipline and get up in the morning and do computer work and then exercise of some sort. Kerstin and I are having one of our (rare) times of difficulty communicating. I am needy. I suppose so is she.
A comment of living in the moment. Freddie changes daily and she now stands and crawls fast and she talks a lot. She is very happy. In relative terms she has a long life ahead thoough in literal terms comparred to the universe it is not. Regardless she will not memorialize her time and in fact she will never experience a time of such rapid change and evolution again. Lving in the moment like meditation, takes away the peripheral and that seems to be its advantage. Complainging that tiem has passed by so rapidly is living in the past and that may be its chief detraction rather than an actual experience of time or lack thereof. More on that later.
It is 8/1 and I went to the gym in Skanor late this afternoon. Today I say a man dead lift 280 lbs. Today I saw a young man swing from a bar back and forth and at the apex of the back let go and then catch himself again. Today I biked back and forth to the gym and then to little ICA where I shopped for our dinner. As I did 2 days ago. Today I shopped for lordagsgodis (Swedish candy) all by myself for the first time in 14 years (Kerstin always picksout our candy). Today was a day of living in Sweden.
(and by the way last week at the airport I must have been walking faster than Kerstin and tripped and then fell over her pulled luggage. ...and I got up. I can get up! I am 74 and I can fall and I can get up and I can exercise and I can bike and I can buy lordagsgodis). This is living!!!
Today is 8/3 and the days go up and down. Yesterday was fun golf with Lasse and visiting his new home. But ride home with Cecilia and Kerstin insisting on driving because she does not like my driving even tho it was night and she has night blindness! Today was fun. Morning :computer; afternoon : gym; late afternoon conference call with Florida multi-specialty clinic and possible job. Very nice doctors and no tension interview. If they wish to proceed I will have an in person interview.
Waht will tomorrow bring???
Today's date is 7/20/18 and I find it difficult to blog daily and even at that at very tight times to write. The purpose of this blog is to focus in the present and to be aware of time as it passes rather than complain that it flies by. Yet that is what it has been doing so I am not accomplishing my purpose. The past week I worked 3 days and I have been very tired. I am unhappy that I have not been given a full retinue of assistants at work and I am spending an additional hours per day with the new EMR and am always being patient schedule because we don't have enough personnel. I stay awake at night with Kerstin watching TV and I mostly find it mind-numbing. While I think about retirement I am also displeased that my other priorities such as reading, meditation, finance, gym, golf, learning Swedish are sacrificed to time constraints and I would like to write a book of my vignettes. I also need time to interact with people and time to rejuvenate. I am doing something wrong and I don't know if it is age or lack of efficiency. I am aware of my aloneness and have discomfort at not having enough time alone to do what I would like.
(It appears I have lost the first 2 paragraphs from the past week describing days between returning to Florida and orienting to work and Sarasota life. How apropos of my feeling of discombobulation that I should concretely lose the narrative of part of my life which was designed to be aware in the present!)
Today sis 7/31 and I am woefully inept at blogging. Staying in the moment is difficult and memorializing those moments even harder. The past week saw us return to Skanor frfom Sarasota.
The kids were here and we got to baby sit Freddie who shangres daily (ore on that lat).The house was crowded and it is very hot so it has been a bit difficult. We have not been to the beach which seems a shame. We are without car so we must use bikes and feet. I think I am over jet lag today so I must get some discipline and get up in the morning and do computer work and then exercise of some sort. Kerstin and I are having one of our (rare) times of difficulty communicating. I am needy. I suppose so is she.
A comment of living in the moment. Freddie changes daily and she now stands and crawls fast and she talks a lot. She is very happy. In relative terms she has a long life ahead thoough in literal terms comparred to the universe it is not. Regardless she will not memorialize her time and in fact she will never experience a time of such rapid change and evolution again. Lving in the moment like meditation, takes away the peripheral and that seems to be its advantage. Complainging that tiem has passed by so rapidly is living in the past and that may be its chief detraction rather than an actual experience of time or lack thereof. More on that later.
It is 8/1 and I went to the gym in Skanor late this afternoon. Today I say a man dead lift 280 lbs. Today I saw a young man swing from a bar back and forth and at the apex of the back let go and then catch himself again. Today I biked back and forth to the gym and then to little ICA where I shopped for our dinner. As I did 2 days ago. Today I shopped for lordagsgodis (Swedish candy) all by myself for the first time in 14 years (Kerstin always picksout our candy). Today was a day of living in Sweden.
(and by the way last week at the airport I must have been walking faster than Kerstin and tripped and then fell over her pulled luggage. ...and I got up. I can get up! I am 74 and I can fall and I can get up and I can exercise and I can bike and I can buy lordagsgodis). This is living!!!
Today is 8/3 and the days go up and down. Yesterday was fun golf with Lasse and visiting his new home. But ride home with Cecilia and Kerstin insisting on driving because she does not like my driving even tho it was night and she has night blindness! Today was fun. Morning :computer; afternoon : gym; late afternoon conference call with Florida multi-specialty clinic and possible job. Very nice doctors and no tension interview. If they wish to proceed I will have an in person interview.
Waht will tomorrow bring???
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