Jokes
The Russian military decided to create the most powerful army in the world: A Super Russian Army. To accomplish their goal htey trained for a yera and finally it was time to show their achievement to the Russian government. The general in charge brought out the unit to the parade ground and had them halt. He went up to the first man and said Stick out your arm. The soldier did as he was told and the general swiftly cut it off with a saber. Does that not hurt you he commanded. No that does not hurt me. Why he asked. Because I am a super Russian soldier. He went to the next man and said stick out your leg. The man did as he was told and the general seiftly cut it off with his saber. He then asked Does that not hurt you? No shourted the soldier. Why commanded the general. Because I am a super russion soldier he replied. He then march down the line wher a short Jew was standing at atention. The general then tore open his pants and the penis fell to the ground. The general cut the penis off at his base with his saber. Does that not hurt you shouted the general. No that does not hurt me shouted the little Jew. Why commanded the general. Because it belongs to the schmiuck in back of me shouted the Jew.
A prostituter declared that the next day she would devote herself to satisfying ehrself instead of thers. She posted a sign in the square tyhat the next day she would pleasure herself with the man of her choice at no charge to him,. Applicants were asked to line up in the square at 9 o'clock in thge mnorning. AT the appointed time she appeared to examine the long line of men who stood waiting. She approached the first man and ripped open his pants. He penis fell to his thigh and she looked apporvingly. Not bad. She aproached the second man and ripped open his pants. His penis fell to his knee and she commented approvingly Even better. The next man in line was a short Jewwish man. She ripped open his pants and this penis fell 2 cm. Starring at it she bewgan laughing and asked And who are you intending to satisfy with that. Looking her straight in the eye the sjhort Jew replied "Me"
Mr Schwartz was having problems and decided to visit a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist affirmed he might be able to help Schwartz but first he needed to ask him some questions in order to get to know him. Mr Schwartz agreed and the psychiatrist began: I am going to draw some pictures and I want you to tell me what you think they are. OK said Schwartz. The psychiatrist drew a circle on a pad of paper and held it up to show Schwartz the drawing. Now what does that remind you of asked the psychiatrist. That's easy replied Schwartz. It's a vagina. Interesting said the psychiatrist. He then drew a triangle and held the picture up to Schwartz. And what does this remind you of asked the psychiatrist. Again very easy said Schwartz. That is a vagina. More interesting said the psychiatrist and he proceeded to draw a rectangle. Now what does this remind you of asked the psychiatrist. You gotta stop kidding me said Schwartz. That's a vagina. The psychiatrist looked at Schwartz and asked Did it ever occur to you that you have a preoccupation with vaginas? Pointing his finger at the psychiatrist Schwartz said Don't point the finger at me Doc. You drew the pictures.
A prostituter declared that the next day she would devote herself to satisfying ehrself instead of thers. She posted a sign in the square tyhat the next day she would pleasure herself with the man of her choice at no charge to him,. Applicants were asked to line up in the square at 9 o'clock in thge mnorning. AT the appointed time she appeared to examine the long line of men who stood waiting. She approached the first man and ripped open his pants. He penis fell to his thigh and she looked apporvingly. Not bad. She aproached the second man and ripped open his pants. His penis fell to his knee and she commented approvingly Even better. The next man in line was a short Jewwish man. She ripped open his pants and this penis fell 2 cm. Starring at it she bewgan laughing and asked And who are you intending to satisfy with that. Looking her straight in the eye the sjhort Jew replied "Me"
Mr Schwartz was having problems and decided to visit a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist affirmed he might be able to help Schwartz but first he needed to ask him some questions in order to get to know him. Mr Schwartz agreed and the psychiatrist began: I am going to draw some pictures and I want you to tell me what you think they are. OK said Schwartz. The psychiatrist drew a circle on a pad of paper and held it up to show Schwartz the drawing. Now what does that remind you of asked the psychiatrist. That's easy replied Schwartz. It's a vagina. Interesting said the psychiatrist. He then drew a triangle and held the picture up to Schwartz. And what does this remind you of asked the psychiatrist. Again very easy said Schwartz. That is a vagina. More interesting said the psychiatrist and he proceeded to draw a rectangle. Now what does this remind you of asked the psychiatrist. You gotta stop kidding me said Schwartz. That's a vagina. The psychiatrist looked at Schwartz and asked Did it ever occur to you that you have a preoccupation with vaginas? Pointing his finger at the psychiatrist Schwartz said Don't point the finger at me Doc. You drew the pictures.
Comments
Post a Comment